How to not only survive, but also thrive

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Haley James

More stories from Haley James

Taking a toll
May 23, 2019
It's gum, don't worry.

Danielle Goold

It's gum, don't worry.

Listen closely, first year students;  your egos are too big. There is room for improvement. Need swag? You better keep reading. If you take this advice, you will keep on succeeding. From A to Z, I got everything ya’ need. I have been through it before. High school is a snore. Now let us begin, and find the cool within.

First things first:  do not stare at the ground when you walk. Everyone knows you are a freshman just by the way you study the floor like there is something super interesting there. Keep your eyes up, and smile at people you know, and just walk like any other person would on a nice sunny day. It is not difficult. And please learn how to walk more than two feet per hour before your first day, or you will be run over.

The second piece of knowledge is to “draft” off of another person when you are walking against the crowd. The trip to East is long–wait, did you not know we have two campuses?  Finding the perfect path is stressful when people around you are stopping left and right. Afraid of running into someone or hate confrontation? Problem solved! Just walk right behind the person you have chosen to be your “designated drafter,” and have them move through the big crowds for you.

Kahoot and Quizlet will be your best friends. If you think that you are too cool to use them, you are probably wrong. Quizlet has single-handedly saved the grades of millions of students. Just because you think it is cool not to study and fail out of high school as a 14-year-old does not mean Kahoot is lame.  You are.  By the way, lame in this instance does not refer to a disability in the foot or leg.

Investing in the world of gum is very risky. If you are caught chewing a piece or have a packet in your hand, you might as well run. No matter who they are, strangers will ask you for some. To solve this problem, you have two options. Buy lots of gum packets and sell them to the mindless gum-zombies for a high profit, or carry an empty packet, and tell them you just ran out. If you are a real daredevil, get a dealer, a gum dealer, that is.

While those are some of the key factors in surviving day to day at Etowah, I have one more small thing to recommend. When you get to high school, everyone changes. The girls leave each other behind, and any middle school relationship will probably suffer. You may lose some friends, but you will gain some, too. It is natural for everyone, so keep working through the school year, and find the positive when it is the most difficult.

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